Since he is your father, it might cause you to question whether you might be gay as well, or potentially gay. It is likely you would feel quite angry and betrayed if that were the case. He has been acting as though he is a monogamous heterosexual father when he is not. It also would suggest that he has been deceiving you, the kids. Perhaps he has been deceiving her, possibly for some time. If he refuses to tell her, then it might fall upon you to tell her. If she does not know, I think he should tell her. If he were to admit that he is gay, I would ask him if that means he's going to separate from your mom. Let's think about what that would mean.įirst of all, if your dad is gay, he may separate from your mom. Suppose it turns out that your dad is gay. It is tempting to say that what your dad does is his business. Tell him it's just that you saw it and you could not ignore it. Tell him you are not bringing this up in order to pass judgment on him. But also tell him that you realize that it may be impossible for him to talk about it honestly with you. If what he tells you doesn't sound believable, tell him so. You may realize that you wanted the truth from him and are not getting it. If that happens, it may be very upsetting to you. Just get out of the house somewhere where the two of you can have a private conversation, perhaps outdoors where you can walk while you talk, and tell him that you saw that material. But you can't just let it go.ĭo not assume that your dad is gay. It probably won't be in the top 10 favorite conversations with your dad.
You have to have a conversation with your dad about those pictures. This is one of those situations where there isn't a really great solution.
I have no one to talk to, and I feel like I am doing my mom wrong. How do you think I should deal with this? Should I talk to him or tell my mom? I know my brothers would disown him and I don't want to hurt my dad, but he is killing me. My dad is very secretive, and I have found his porn that is man-on-man.